Following through may not be the sexiest “life hack,” but it’s pretty up there.
If you want to be an extraordinary person who makes things happen, it’s the greatest power you can learn to follow through (or follow up) with others and with yourself.
Here are different forms of follow-through you should do now.
Following through/up with others
Following through implies action.
In sports, you commit to your swings and shots. Competitive runners don’t slow down at the finish line; they keep running through the finish line. Finish or lose.
If you can’t follow through, try “following up” at least. Following up is more about making contact.
It can be a way to close the loop or start a new one. It’s easier to send an email than actually doing what you were supposed to do. It’s a good start if you are all talk and no walk (hopefully only for now).
A) Following through means doing what you said you would do.
Let’s say you go to an event. You get someone’s card. You say, “I’ll send you that link.” He says, “Email me if you want to talk shop.” You say, “OK!”
If you send that link, you’ve followed through. If you ask a relevant question or ask for input, you’ve followed through. If you forget about that person when you get home, you’ve failed.
If you say (especially after you reach out on your own), “Let me know if I can do X for you!” and I gratefully and potentially unexpectedly take you up on your offer, and you don’t respond after that, then you failed. In that case, I’ll have to follow up with you until you do it. Do not start what you can’t finish.
But don’t worry. Follow-through is rare. Lacking it simply makes you average. Most people are mostly concerned with themselves, and that’s natural.
That’s precisely why following through makes you stand apart.
That’s why the people who follow through and implement my advice are the ones I want to help the most.
In a world of online identities and manipulative people, we want people we can trust and rely on. Another word for follow-through is integrity.
B) Following through can also mean doing things proactively based on what has happened or what you know about someone.
Don’t just follow someone’s lead. Don’t always wait for instructions. Do your own research. If you admire someone, keep up with their work on their blog, email list, social media, etc.
Notice how long it’s passed since you last interacted. Send a reminder to your client. Ask what’s up to your acquaintance.
Respond and connect. Offer something valuable.
One of my readers offered to put me in touch with his firm that he was in the process of leaving in case I was looking for a job change. While it didn’t work out (because I had another offer in the works and they were too late to follow up), it was a kind gesture.
Ask yourself: What else can you do?
C) Listening to advice is the most flattering form of follow-through
If a busy person responds to your plea for advice, they want to feel like they didn’t just waste their time.
Most people ask shitty questions or have a shitty approach to asking questions. If you got a nice response back, you probably have a chance to impress.
The best way you can impress that VIP is to (1) thank them first of all (you’re doing it wrong if they’re more polite than you), (2) actually do what they recommended, and (3) report back on your results (thank them again).
If your progress report is good, they’ll be happy to hear it and answer more of your questions. If your progress is bad but you’re still using what they suggested, they’ll be happy to tweak their advice for you until you find success.
It’s VERY RARE to see someone follow advice they’re given.
Think about the last time a friend asked how you did something. You shared your experience and gave them your best tips, but they didn’t do jack with it.
In contrast, a friend told me several years ago (when I was in my late 20s) that the greatest regret of those in their 30s is not paying attention to their health. I took that to heart and am glad that I did.
I’ll the first to admit, though, that I’m probably not going to follow all advice because it’s actually hard work, it may not be right for me, and I don’t have the energy to do it all when there’s a ton of other things I could be doing.
It’s nice to be able to say, “Yeah, that makes sense,” nod your head, and move on. It feels like you actually made progress. The work has been done! No need to do anything! You sigh contentedly and go back to the same old shit you were doing before.
That influencer you thoughtlessly reached out to for advice experiences that hell over and over. Imagine their relief and excitement when someone actually does something with their ideas instead of treating them like an ATM. I’m tearing up just thinking about it.
Following through with yourself
You tell yourself that the new year is going to be different. “New year, new me!”
I don’t believe your “resolutions.” Look at your friends saying, “Hey, I’m SERIOUS about my New Year’s resolutions. THIS time it’s for real.”
Sure buddy. If they really wanted to do something, they would have started or done it already. Past behavior is a predictor of future behavior.
Estimates put the failure rate of New Year resolutions around 75-92% (one estimates 80%). But I don’t want you to be just another ordinary citizen.
Stopping “new year, new me” energy and finishing what you started
You say you want to be fit. You want to lose weight. You want to be under X pounds. You want to fit in those pants again. You want a flat stomach. You want at least 2 out of your 6 packs by summer.
Anyone can have good intentions. Anyone can have desires or be interested. Let your results speak for themselves. Prove that resolve by actually showing me results. If you don’t have the resolve, sit down, and get out of the way.
I won’t let you simply declare your resolve and call it a day. Instead…
Treat promises with yourself as seriously as promises with others (assuming you do treat them seriously). We should strive to act consistent with our words.
If it helps, pretend as if the public knows everything you said to yourself, as if permanently recorded in a decentralized ledger (how do you do, fellow kids).
I still remember what I blurted out to my crush in college:
Sarah: “What’s your hobby?” (the worst question a guy can get because what’s a hobby and is it interesting enough)
Brian: “Helping people”
Vague and possibly pompous. I don’t remember what I had in mind when I said that. But, 15 years later, I’m doing just that.
I have an online business where I respond to everyone. I help a lot of people pass the bar exam. I’m very proud of it.
I’m writing here to organize my thoughts but also with hope that anyone who comes across them will find them useful.
I told my sister that fitness was a priority. Now I can’t go back on my word, can I?
No, of course not. If I don’t show up to the next family vacation with at least a two-pack stomach, then I will have failed myself. We should follow through on how we describe ourselves and what we tell others.
Don’t just pretend it didn’t happen and hope that people forget. In fact, they probably will forget what you said, but you shouldn’t. Don’t lie to yourself. Breaking a promise to yourself is a way to tell yourself that what you want doesn’t matter, and this will lower your confidence and self-esteem over time.
Following through with yourself is a bit harder than following through on what you said to someone else. But it’s just as important, if not more, to stay consistent with yourself.
Always be intellectually honest and avoid cognitive dissonance.
In sum, here’s how to follow through:
Following through is a rare trait and will make you reliable and trustworthy.
If you don’t follow through, everything will stop, and you will have wasted an opportunity.
Make things happen with these ways to follow through:
- Do what you told someone that you will do
- Do something proactively based on what you’ve anticipated about someone
- If you ask someone else for advice, follow it, and report back on it
- Do what you told yourself you will do